


Time for Promises

by Rivermoon1970



Series: Time and Again [16]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Sickfic, feeling hopeless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer gets exposed to Anthrax but Aaron has to keep going because they have to find the unsub before he releases anymore of the virus. But when Aaron gets news of Spencer's deteriorating condition can he keep it together enough to stop a delusional unsub?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time for Promises

_Now_

Penelope Garcia and Jennifer Jareau conspired to get Spencer out of the house. He had been cooped up mourning for two weeks now. They knew that nothing they said or did would ease the pain of his loss, but they needed to try. It wasn’t too early in the morning when they knocked on his door.

Spencer wasn’t expecting anyone. Emily had left two days prior with promises to keep in touch through Skype. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Garcia and JJ.

“What are you guys doing here?” He opened the door to let the two blondes in.

“We, Dr. Reid, are here to get you out of this house. I know Sasha is at school and Jack is more than old enough to take care of himself. We have plans and you are coming with us my junior g-man.” Garcia grabbed a hold of one of his arms and hugged him close.

“Spence, you’ve been cooped up here for too long. Now, come on we aren’t going to take no for an answer.” JJ wrapped herself around his other arm.

Not letting him go they grabbed his keys, wallet and messenger bag from the side table near the door and together walked him out of the house.

“Garcia, JJ, I don’t want to go anywhere-“He tried to pull out of their hold on him to go back inside

“Nu huh, we are not letting you back in there till you have a few hours outside with us. Trust us Spence, this is for your own good.” JJ said as she pulled the genius along.

They piled into JJ’s SUV with a slightly pouting Spencer. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with them, it was that he felt safe in his home. There he could still feel Aaron all around him, outside he was alone and he didn’t like that feeling.

“Jayje please, please just take me home.” He looked over at JJ with a pleading look.

“No, and that look isn’t going to make me do it.” Her heart broke for him because she knew him well enough to know why he wanted to stay there. Aaron’s presence could still be felt and he was too comfortable in his sorrow.

He laid his head back and resigned himself to the brow beating of his friends.

A few minutes later they pulled up to his favorite coffee shop. “Come on, let’s get some coffee then we’ll do something fun.” JJ smiled encouraging Spencer to leave the car.

He sighed deeply as he followed the two women inside. As soon as the barista looked up her eyes got wide and she smiled at the tall man.

“Dr. Reid, I’ve missed you.” 

“Hello Amy, how are you?” He asked her trying to be polite.

“I’m good, almost done with my masters. I wanted to thank you for that interview that you and, well I wanted to thank you.” She talked while she worked behind the coffee  
machines, “Here, you go coffee with three shots, four pumps of vanilla and four pumps chocolate. Just like you like it.” 

He took the offered coffee sipped. He smiled, “Thank you Amy, it’s perfect. Here,” He handed her the exact amount of money.

“Oh no Dr. Reid it’s on the house.” She looked like she wanted to cry, “We all miss seeing the two of you here every day Dr. Reid. I will always miss Mr. Reid-Hotchner. You two were always so good together.” She turned around to wipe her eyes before she turned back to look at Spencer.

Spencer cleared his throat to help keep his emotions in check, “Thank you Amy. He ah, he really liked you too.” Spencer turned around and walked back to the SUV.

“I’m sorry I-“ Amy looked stricken, she hadn’t meant to make Spencer feel sad.

“It’s okay, he’s still having a hard time. Here,” JJ paid for her and Garcia as they grabbed their cups of coffee. “I think it is going to take him quite a while Amy.” She patted the young woman’s arm before the two women moved back towards the SUV.

“Jayje, I appreciate this I really do, but can you just please take me home?” Spencer looked at her hoping she’d comply.

“No.” She was not going to give into him. They drove to his favorite bookstore and the two women got out. “Come on, we are going to browse the store.” She opened the passenger side door and practically pulled him out of the car.

“Fine,” He huffed out as they entered the bookstore. 

He walked around not really looking at any of the titles. The normally soothing bookstore did nothing for him he browsed but he didn’t really see.

“Nothing peaking you’re interest young man?” An elderly woman asked Spencer as she perused the romance section.

“No, not really,” He told her as he ran his fingers along the spines.

“You look like you just lost someone didn’t you sweetheart?” She looked into his eyes and saw the lingering pain. For some reason Spencer felt compelled to answer and before he knew it he was speaking again.

“Um, Yes my ah, my husband.” He told her 

“How long were you married?” She asked with a smile.

“Ten years, but we,” He swallowed past the lump in his throat, “We were together for almost thirteen years before that.”

“I lost my Charlie two years ago. We were together 32 years total. I still sleep with one of his shirts under my pillow.” She looked at Spencer with a sad smile.

“Does it,” He closed his eyes to stem the tide of emotions, “Does it ever get better?” He asked the woman.

She looked at Spencer with compassion and understanding, “Yes, yes it does but it takes time. You were very much in love weren’t you? I’m still very much in love with my Charlie. He was my everything.” 

A tear slid down his face and he quickly wiped it away. “Yes I’ve loved Aaron from the moment we met.” The woman asked him how they met and Spencer steered her to a small table next to where they were standing. He told her part of their story and it broke her heart a little to know that their time together was cut so short.

“Young man you had a rare gift. So many people seek what you had with your Aaron and I had with my Charlie.” She grabbed his hand in her own, “Keep him in your heart and you’ll never truly lose him.” She opened her large tote bag and pulled something out, “Here, this helped me quite a lot, maybe it will help you.” She said as she handed him a book.

“You’re just giving this to me?” He looked at the woman confused.

“Yes, take it I don’t need it anymore. I was going to sell it back, but you look like you could use it.” She patted him on the shoulder as she walked away. 

He examined the book in his hands, I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye by Dr. Pamela Blair. He frowned at it but put it away in his messenger bag to figure out what to do with it later.

JJ found him still at the table lost in thought, “Spence,” JJ sat down across from him, “You have to try Spence. He would want you to go on. Please, you have to try.” She reached over and grabbed his hand between hers. “You know I love you, right?”

“I love you to JJ. It’s just so hard. I know you’re right, but,” He squeezed her hand before he pulled away, “I feel so alone when I leave the house. He’s not here and I feel so alone.” He stared into the eyes he knew so well, the eyes of the sister of his heart.

“Spence, you’re not alone. You have us, Will and Henry, Morgan, Savannah and the boys, Penny, Dave all of us. Most importantly Spencer you have Jack and Sasha. They need you now more than ever. For god sakes Spence she’s sleeping on Aaron’s couch in his study and not in her own bed. That isn’t healthy.”

Spencer got angry at that, “Who are you to tell me what’s good or what isn’t for my daughter JJ. If it’s helping her cope with losing her father then I’ll let her sleep there for as long as she wants.” He surged out of the chair he was in, “Take me home JJ.” His quiet anger was something she’d heard before and there was no amount of arguing when he got like that.

“Spence, I’m sorry-“ He cut her off before she could say any more.

“No don’t just please take me home.” 

“Okay, okay we’ll take you home.” They got back in the SUV and the silence was deafening. As soon as she pulled up to the curb he got out slammed the door and went back in the house. JJ sighed in defeat. All they wanted to do was try to help, but she saw he was slipping further into depression and their forced outing didn’t help.

“What do we do Jayje?” Garcia asked from the back seat.

“I don’t know Penny. I really don’t know.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________  
_Then_

_REID: Hotch I really messed up this time_

_Hotch: Reid we need to get you out and to the hospital_

_Reid: No I’m staying right here_

_Morgan: No you’re not Reid_

_Reid: I’m already exposed it’s not going to do me any good to stop working the case_

_General: He’s already infected now if Nichols created this strain he may have also created the cure_

_Reid; My best chance is to stay here to see if there’s a cure and try to figure out who killed Dr. Nichols_

_Morgan: Come on Hotch say something to him_

_Hotch: He’s right his best chance is inside, [to Reid] We’re going to get a suit and mask into you right away_

_Reid: Don’t bother its not going to do me any good I’m already infected_

Reid told Hotch to go back to the BAU and Hotch was conflicted. Morgan could see the struggle on his unit chief’s face and told him he’d stay with Reid.

Aaron looked to the house one more time, fear had gripped his heart, but he had to keep it together, they had an unsub with a new strain of anthrax and no known targets yet. He made the difficult decision to go back to the office with the General and tried to get control of himself.

As they walked off the elevator Aaron said, “I need five minutes,” He turned and told the General when they walked back into the BAU.

“Agent Hotchner we don’t have that kind of time.”

“Give me five goddamn minutes.” He gave the General one of his famous glares.

“Fine, do what you gotta do but we need to get a jump on this.”

Hotch stomped up to his office, slammed the door, closed the blinds and fought to get his emotions under control. With shaking hands he grabbed his cell phone and called  
Reid back.

“Spencer,” His voice was thick with emotion.

“Aaron, don’t okay, not now we both need our heads in this.” Spencer gripped the phone tight to his ear. He feared never seeing Aaron again, he feared never seeing Jack or Henry again and it terrified him. 

“Spencer, I love you dammit, I love you.” Hotch let some of the tears slip that he was holding back. “You can’t…you find that damn cure Reid, that’s an order.” Hotch was glaring at the phone wishing that he could be there.

Spencer stopped his frantic searching for just a moment, “I love you to Aaron. I’ll find it I promise you that, okay? I’ll find it and I’ll be okay,” Spencer pulled the phone away closed his eyes and tapped it against his forehead in frustration.

Morgan was watching from outside and he understood that Reid was talking to Aaron and it was breaking his heart. If something happened and they didn’t find a cure he wasn’t sure if his unit chief would come back from that. He didn’t think any of them would come back from that.

“Listen, I’ll keep searching, it’s got to be here. You find the partner Hotch.” He was breathing heavy keeping himself from crying.

“Reid,” Aaron slammed his hand against his desk in frustration, “You keep that promise. We can’t lose you,” Reid knew he was talking about himself and Jack, “So you better keep your goddamn promise.” He hung up, took a few moments to get himself under control and went back to the General so they could continue with trying to figure out Dr. Nichols motivation and who he may have been working with.

Spencer slowly put his phone away and stood there for a few minutes tears of frustration flowing. 

Morgan had left to go outside for bit when he called Reid back to see how it was going. Together with Garcia’s help they figured out who the unsub was, a social studies doctorate candidate named Chad Brown that had adopted Dr. Nichols manifesto.

“Hey kid, don’t lose it now. You made a damn promise now you gotta keep it. You hear me? Now get yourself out of there and get to the hospital.” 

“Yeah, yeah I hear you. Okay,” Reid got himself together and started looking around for more information. Dr. Kimura had come in by this time and was helping Reid to find where Nichols could have hidden the cure. What she found was an inhaler and they both agreed that it was probably where Nichols had hidden it; at least they hoped it was. She finally got Reid into a decontamination shower and got him ready to transport to the hospital. Morgan was standing right outside not wanting to leave Reid out of his sight.

“Morgan, please go help Hotch.”

“I’m not leaving you kid.” He looked at his best friend worried.

“Morgan, I’m about to get naked so they can scrub me down, do you really want to see that?”

Morgan huffs out a laugh, “No. Okay I’ll go.”

“Hey Morgan?”

“Yeah kid?”

“Tell Ho-Aaron,” His eyes misted over and he tried to keep his composure, “Tell him,” Reid pulled back his emotions as he tried to keep it together.

Morgan cursed under his breath, “I get it kid. You just get to the hospital, and you keep your promise.” He turned away and headed back to the BAU.

They got Reid in the ambulance and were on the way when the aphasia hit, his fever spiked and he started to cough up blood. When they finally made it to the hospital it seemed like it took forever to get him inside and settled.

A few minutes later Dr. Kimura called Hotch to tell him Reid’s status. She told him about the aphasia and that he was coughing up blood. Aaron’s heart stopped cold. He closed his eyes and tried to keep control.

“Sir?” Garcia looked worriedly at her Unit Chief. Not only was he worrying about Haley and Jack, but he was terrified for Spencer, but he knew he couldn’t lose it now.

“Spe-Reid got sicker as they were transporting him to the hospital.” Hotch shut down and threw up his walls. His stoic mask slipped into place because it was the only way he was going to get through this. He walked away for a few moments to regain his composure.

Just as Morgan walked in Garcia told him what was going on. He watched Hotch carefully as he told all of them, “Listen he’s with the people that can help him the most I need everybody’s head here right now.” Morgan saw that Aaron was trying to keep it together, so he let it go for now as they formulated a plan to take down Chad Brown.

On the way to the train station where they figured Brown would make his move, Morgan and Hotch were in an SUV together, “Hotch, listen, the kid, he ah he wanted me to tell you,” Morgan looked over as the older man’s expression hardened.

“Morgan please, not now I can’t right now. After we take down Brown, please,” His brow furrowed as he tried not to think about the man he loved fighting for his life.

Morgan sighed but understood, “Okay Hotch, okay.” 

They got to the station and with the General’s help they took down Brown with a minimum of fuss. Aaron was impressed that the General had actually listened to him and the profile.

Hotch wanted to go to rush to the hospital right away but knew he needed to get Brown processed and the General needed to get the anthrax spores secured. He asked if Morgan could go to the hospital to sit with Reid, while Aaron was still at the BAU. He agreed knowing the struggle Hotch was dealing with and glad to help anyway he could. He laid a hand on Aaron’s shoulder as he tried to give his boss some measure of comfort.

“He’ll be fine. He promised you he would be. Now you just have to believe that what they found was the cure.” 

“I know Morgan, I know. If he wakes,” He shook his head as he kept that stoic mask in place, “If he wakes tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He then walked away to his office, needing to be alone.

Aaron called Haley and spoke with Jack for a few minutes. _At least their safe_ , He thought. He was trying to finish the paperwork from the case before he went to the hospital. He didn’t know if, no I can’t think like that, when Reid would be released but he didn’t want any work to get in the way. It also helped him focus on something else for the moment.

Dave was still there, he hadn’t had time to see how his best friend was doing. He knew this had to be tearing him apart. Before he left he decided to go see for himself. He grabbed the bottle of scotch and two glasses and knocked on Aaron’s door.

Aaron looked up to see Dave and he waved him in. Dave proceeded to sit in one of the chairs in front of Aaron’s desk poured out two fingers of scotch each and passed one to his friend.

“How are you doing? And don’t lie to me Aaron.” Dave studied his former protégé for a moment.

“I’m trying to keep it together. Dr. Kimura thinks that they found the cure.” He wiped a hand down his face quelling the tide of emotions threatening to break free. “I can’t lose him Dave.” He said quietly.

Dave leaned forward, “You have to have faith that what the kid found was the cure. I heard he made you a promise and he doesn’t do things like that lightly.” Dave wanted to comfort Aaron, but he just didn’t know how. “Are you going to the hospital?”

“Yeah, I’m just finishing up. You go, I’ll be okay, we’ll- I’ll be okay when I find out he is.”

“You’ll call me and let me know?”

Aaron swallowed past the lump in his throat, “Yeah, yeah I’ll let you know.” Dave left with Prentiss, and they both prayed that Reid would pull through this.

Aaron cleaned up his desk quickly and made his way to the hospital. By the time he got there it was late but he was glad that Dr. Kimura was still there, “Dr. How is he?” Aaron asked her anxiously.

“Agent Hotchner, we won’t know for a while.” She studied the older agent for a moment. “He asked me to give you this. The aphasia has affected his speech, but his writing was okay for a little while.” She looked at the agent with sympathy. “You can sit with him if you’d like.” Normally it would be against hospital policy, but Kimura had figured out pretty quickly the relationship between the two agents and she didn’t begrudge him the time.

When he walked into the room and saw Spencer hooked up to the monitors he stopped and closed his eyes. Morgan saw him standing there but didn’t say anything. He didn’t think Aaron wanted to talk.

Aaron walked in, took off his suit jacket and tie, grabbed a chair and sat next to Spencer. He took one of Spencer’s hands in his and sat back and just watched as the man he loved slept.

Morgan moved behind Hotch and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“You’ve got to trust that he did find the cure Hotch.” He patted his unit chief’s shoulder, “I’m going home for a little while I’ll be back, then you should get some rest too.”

Aaron just gave Morgan a small smile, he wasn’t going anywhere till he knew Spencer was going to be okay. He let go of Reid’s hand and opened the letter with shaking hands.

_Aaron,_

_Where do I start? I love you Aaron and if what we found isn’t the cure and I don’t get better I don’t want you to retreat into yourself. I know you, you’ll put up your walls and throw up that stoic demeanor you carry so well and you won’t let anyone in. Promise me you won’t do that. Let the team help you, let your friends, our family help you. Please?_

_Aaron, I’ve seen the files you snuck home. I’m not mad I’m just worried about this obsession. It’s not your fault he got away, don’t take that on. You know the team will find him and you were right not to take the deal, no matter what happens please believe me that you were right. Always believe that._

_Do me one favor? Make sure my mom gets the recording I made? Garcia has it on her computer. She’ll accept it from you Aaron. Tell her I love her and that I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry I didn’t visit as much. There is a new stack of letters on the front table, make sure she gets those too._

_It’s getting more difficult to write, but I want you to tell Jack and Henry how much I love them. Help JJ, she’ll somehow take this on herself, don’t let her. Watch out for Morgan, he’ll be angry for a long time and lash out at everyone. Don’t let Garcia_

That’s where the letter stopped. Aaron couldn’t help it, tears were streaming down his face because he couldn’t think of Spencer dying, couldn’t let himself think of Spencer dying. He reached over and grabbed Spencer’s hand again and held on. He fell asleep hoping that the amazing young man he fell in love with would wake by the time he did.

He felt a gentle hand shaking him and looked up, “Why don’t you go home for a little bit? I’ll be here and call if there’s a change. You need a shower at least.” Morgan looked down on his unit chief. 

Aaron got up and stretched, someone during the night had put a blanket around him. He folded it and put it on the chair as he looked at the still sleeping form of his lover, partner and best friend.

“You’ll call the minute there’s a change?” He asked Morgan anxiously.

“Yes. I promise, now go get some rest.” He gently slapped Aaron on the back as the man left to go home for a little bit. What he forgot was the letter which Morgan found. He didn’t mean to read it, but his curiosity got the better of him.

“Oh Reid,” He closed his eyes and sat down heavy on one of the chairs taking up Hotch’s vigil. He awoke sometime later to find a tray of food waiting for Spencer. He didn’t think pretty boy was going to be awake yet so he snatched up the Jello-O.

“Are you eating Jell-O?” Reid looked at Morgan with raised brows.

Morgan smiled wide, “Hey kid, Hey Doc, he’s back.”

Reid, still slightly confused asked, “Is there more Jell-O?” Which made the other two in the room laugh. Dr. Kimura told Reid that what was in the inhaler was indeed the cure. He and the remaining patients were going to make it. Reid sighed with relief until he noticed someone absent.

“Where’s Hotch?” He asked with wariness in his voice.

“He had been here all night kid, I made him go home for a little bit. I’m gonna call him in a minute. He kept it together, barely.” 

Spencer noticed the letter sitting next to Morgan, “Morgan, you didn’t-“ He frowned at his friend. It was a private letter only meant for Aaron.

“Sorry kid, I didn’t mean to.” 

Spencer was quiet for a long time contemplating something, “Morgan?” 

“Yeah Reid?” He felt he knew what his friend was going to say, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it.

“This whole thing got me thinking.” He went silent again as if he was trying to phrase his words carefully.

“Spencer, what is it?” Morgan was getting anxious now.

“Promise me something.” His look was pleading hoping that Morgan would understand what he was going to ask..

“Depends on the promise kid,” Morgan looked nervous at what Reid was going to ask of him.

“If something does happen to me, take care of Hotch. Make sure he doesn’t hide behind his stoicism, or do something stupid in the field. He’ll need you guys, even if he doesn’t show it, he’ll need you.” Reid was looking down at the blanket hands fidgeting the whole time.

“Reid, nothing’s going to happen-“

“But it almost did Morgan. So you have to promise me this.” Reid said emphatically.

“Dammit Reid,” Morgan closed his eyes a moment, “Okay, fine but we’re not talking about this anymore.” He looked sternly at his friend, “I’m going to go call Hotch to tell him you’re awake.” He stalked off because he didn’t want Reid to see his almost breakdown. The fact that he had come so close to dying made Morgan short and cranky.

“Thank you.” Reid knew what Morgan was doing and he felt bad that he had put everyone who loved him in this situation.

“Hey Hotch, he’s awake, Dr. Kimura said he’s going to be fine.” Morgan told his unit chief as soon as he had answered the phone.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Aaron hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly took a shower and got dressed, he threw on some khaki’s and a polo shirt. He wasn’t going in the office because he wanted to stay at the hospital with Spencer. It didn’t take him long and he knew he was breaking a few speeding laws trying to get there, but he didn’t care. He parked and practically ran into the hospital, slowing down and composing himself as he got closer to Spencer’s room.

“Hey, you’re awake,” He smiled as he walked in.

Spencer smiled wide as his heart settled, “I missed you when I woke-up.” 

Aaron moved to the bed and bent down and kissed Spencer. He placed a hand on his cheek, “Don’t scare me like that again Spence.” 

“I’m sorry Aaron.” He looked down at the bed for a moment, “I was terrified I’d never see you again.”

“But, you’re okay? Dr. Kimura said everything is okay?” Aaron looked at Spencer apprehensively.

“Yes, she said I should be completely fine in a couple of days.”

Just then Dr. Kimura came in to check on Spencer, “Agent Hotchner, just the person I wanted to see. Spencer will be fine, but I want him on light duty for at least a week.” Spencer went to protest, “Dr. Reid, the infection was quicker and more concentrated in you because of the cut to your hand. You need rest for the next couple of days and no running around in the field for at least a week.”

“I’ll make sure he gets the rest he needs Dr.” Aaron got up and shook her hand, “Thank you for everything.”

She smiled at the older agent seeing the play of emotions on his face, but understood how private he was, “You’re welcome. Just don’t put me in this position again Dr. Reid,” Dr. Kimura said playfully.

“I won’t, I promise.” He smiled wide 

Three days later Spencer got a clean bill of health and he was able to go home. Aaron wouldn’t let him back in the office till the following Monday and kept him on desk duty for a week. In that time the two men grew even closer, the terror of losing each other deepened their bond even more. And Aaron tried not to let thoughts of George Foyet enter his mind.

Little did the team know in the next couple of months would come a case that would test the resolve of even the most seasoned FBI agents and the relationship between Aaron and Spencer would be put through an impossible test.


End file.
